Just so you know, a wee bit of Portlandia history before Portlandia.
Like the Viking Funeral for my cat, we actually did that, shooting a cannon over the willy. That stuff actually happened. Before the fence was there, I was able to roll my VW right up to the riverfront by OMSI and put down the windshield and enjoy the view. For that matter (and I do not recommend this) Soren and I more than once rolled Der Thing to the top of the interstate bridges and got out of the car to watch the fireworks. These are things that happened, that we did.
Hello friendly reader. We have a guest commentator here who will recount his experience with space-related music. Let’s begin, shall we?
Been a big fan of Shadowy Men since I first heard their theme song on Kids in the Hall in college. This post from my friend and yours, Bon Vivant, Rob Vaughn.
After I finished the very last final exam I had to take in gag school, I grabbed a suitcase I’d packed and my pals from high school met me outside of the hall to drive up to Toronto for a three day weekend. I kept telling them to stop at a liquor store in the U.S. to buy booze but they were hell-bent on driving straight through. By the time we got there and found a hotel, it was about 8:30pm and like Oregon the liquor stores closed at 7.
We left the hotel and were looking for a beer store (they’re open a little later, no beer in grocery stores either, at least back then) when I saw a flyer for a Shadowy Men show. My fellow idiots finally figured out the beer stores closed at 9pm and were resigned to finding a bar and paying the price. Told them I was going to the show and none were interested; they wanted to go to titty bars, I wanted music, so I split off alone.
I’d been to Toronto a few times and have always had a good sense of direction and making my way around. Took some guesses, and a Metro ride and walk later, found the little club they were playing at; more of an art space in hindsight. I paid the $5 CAN and went in, There were all sorts of friendly folks inside: solo people like me, couples, friends of the band, etc. The lights were dim, the place a bit of a mess and dirty, and said friends of the band were walking around with cases of beer selling them for $1 CAN each.
I don’t remember the name of the opening band. They did a 40 minute set of surf rock, all short tunes, good stuff. Place was pretty packed by the time they were done. Shadowy Men came out and helped the openers move their gear, except for the drum kit, which drummer Reid was loaning them. They set up quickly and turned off everything but a lot of black lights. They’d decorated the whole space with fluoro reactive stuff: stars and comets on the walls, dayglo planets and moons hanging from the ceiling, ufos and spaceships on wires that would slide back and forth from the stage to the back of the room on pulleys, and so on.
The two couples I’d been hanging with broke out some joints and we got very high while slugging beer out of cans. The moment the geegaws on the pulleys started moving, the band lit a couple of roman candles on the stage and went straight into the first song off their first album, which they played in full, followed by their 2nd LP. Barely a pause between songs until they’d finished most of the latter, then some witty banter from lead singer/guitarist Brian. At some point there were a couple glow-in-the-dark blow up balls bouncing around the crowd. The beer guys just started giving away cans and I had to pace myself because I realized I hadn’t eaten in over a day.
They played for over two hours straight, then turned up the lights and said “Thanks everyone, that’s our last show ever, hope you had a good time” or some such thing. I excused myself and went up to the stage where the band was just hanging out. I introduced myself and told the guitarist how much I loved their music and felt it was crucial to the TV show, and was bummed they were breaking up. Said I had almost all of their LPs and singles, in particular the Estrus stuff, but had never found a copy of a 7″ that they’d self-released. Connelly told me to wait and went backstage, then returned with a copy of the single. I asked him how much he wanted for a it but he just handed it to me and said, “Nuthin’! Glad you like the music,” We chatted a little more then I left to let others have a turn.
I found the folks I’d been hanging with and thanked them for the weed, then split to catch the Metro back, since it didn’t run late. I tried to find my pals at a strip club they said they’d be at, but it being pre-mobile phone days, I had no way to contact them and didn’t feel like paying a cover charge to get in to look, so I headed back to the hotel. They were already there, drunk as hell, broke after spending hundreds at the club and in the process of trashing the room. I’m surprised we didn’t get caught and kicked out.
We hightailed it to another hotel at checkout time then hit the liquor and beer stores. I don’t remember much more of that weekend after we procured the booze. Some museums, some restaurants, book and record stores and pubs for me, while they went back to the naked lady bars.
It was a completely random and lucky thing to catch their last show. The next year I skipped the graduation ceremony over Memorial Day weekend to fly to Portland and drive up to Bellingham to catch another Garageshock. Can’t remember if Soren was on that trip in ’94 or not? Don’t remember if they ever played at those, but at least I got to see them once. The bass player died of cancer a couple years later, so doubtful there’ll ever be a reunion or new material.
Want to cause endless hilarity? Forget about covering your buddy’s entire apartment in aluminum foil. Secretly put a Star Trek transporter in his shower.
Well, my friends are gone and my hair is grey I ache in the places where I used to play And I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming on I’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song
I said to Hank Williams, how lonely does it get? Hank Williams hasn’t answered yet But I hear him coughing all night long Oh, a hundred floors above me in the Tower of Song
I was born like this, I had no choice I was born with the gift of a golden voice And twenty-seven angels from the Great Beyond They tied me to this table right here in the Tower of Song
So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll I’m very sorry, baby, doesn’t look like me at all I’m standing by the window where the light is strong Ah, they don’t let a woman kill you, not in the Tower of Song
Now, you can say that I’ve grown bitter but of this you may be sure The rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poor And there’s a mighty judgment coming, but I may be wrong You see, you hear these funny voices in the Tower of Song
I see you standing on the other side I don’t know how the river got so wide I loved you baby, way back when And all the bridges are burning that we might have crossed But I feel so close to everything that we lost We’ll never, we’ll never have to lose it again
Now I bid you farewell, I don’t know when I’ll be back They’re moving us tomorrow to that tower down the track But you’ll be hearing from me baby, long after I’m gone I’ll be speaking to you sweetly from a window in the Tower of Song
Yeah, my friends are gone and my hair is gray I ache in the places where I used to play And I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming on I’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song
Sometimes stories come up, that need to be better documented than just in an email. Here’s a bit of conversation between myself, Wink Jr, Soren and The Lunky. Email starts right down there:
I tried reading this, skimmed over it. I’m afraid the story didn’t grab me. Though it did remind me of the night where I’d gotten lost exploring rural Nevada in Der Thing after that man burning thing that happens sometimes. Eventually I ended up at I think it’s called Soldier Meadows dude ranch, where people like Hairy Larva and crew (used to) go to decompress after the event. Somewhere around here I have a photo of me with The Larry. In fact… you can read all about it here, and you probably should: http://tikimojo.com/amz.com/site/sbp/bm99/highrock.html
High Rock Canyon east to High Rock Lake is very rugged and remote and can be driven in four-wheel vehicles by experienced and well equipped explorers.
HINT: you are probably not equipped to go here
Yet I had told the staff at the state park in CA where I’d started out many hours before to be concerned if I didn’t show up so I was stuck continuing to drive all the frickin’ way to Gerlach so I could at least use the phone (remember, this was 1999 and nowhere Nevada and you don’t have phones everywhere) and make sure the Parks people didn’t call out the rescue squad – not just pointless in this case, but also expensive. Long boring drive through the kind of areas where honest to gawd I would have not been surprised at all to have been abducted by aliens. Not one sign of human activity in any direction other than the gravel highway. Eventually ended in Gerlach, met a wonderful woman who invited me to spend the night at Planet X and eventually we had enormous amounts of sex, so I suppose we can call it a win all in all for everyone. The next night, back in the campground just south of Lakeview, decompressing with a bottle of the local plum wine and a campfire, watching the sun over the lake I pretty much was sure I’d breached the 4th wall. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_wall
And I am fairly terrified of it. Death is going to arrive at any moment. That’s why I rode home at 80mph. Figure that means fewer seconds of sheer terror vs. 55mph which I’d still be experiencing sheer terror.
I woke up. In that dream I was reading an amazingly entertaining and innovative novel that I had written. Of course, the process of waking up wiped out the memory of what I was reading so I can’t write it down.
Yet it was stuff my mind made up. It’s all inside this skull. I didn’t consciously come up with it, it happened somehow and it’s waiting in there looking for a chance to get out.
I have to figure out how to set it free. It’s there. How do I get it out?