I woke up from a dream and the last thing I remember from it is telling someone:
“It’s just something Fact Finding Timmy and I happen to know.”
The day after recording this post, a few other details about Fact Finding Timmy came to light:
He was on Gilligan’s Island for exactly one episode.
He wrote a number of songs for They Might Be Giants.
Fact Finding Timmy is a dwarf, and a dwarf who likes good hats.
He’s good at poker and likes to carry around a worn deck of cards and he’ll use them to tell your fortune if you ask nice.
He’s good with Google.
He’s polished the guitar picks for the Rolling Stones.
He’s ruthless in a cute kinda way, like a pitbull in a hat.
He uses his size to fool you into talking to him, who’s rude to a dwarf? Before you know it, you’ve told him everything.
He doesn’t like it when it rains. He doesn’t smoke either, that Fact Finding Timmy.
Fact Finding Timmy knows things, but he keeps them to himself, mostly.
He’s got a typewriter for his secret thoughts.
He still uses carbon paper.
He once did a job for Oprah Winfrey, but he won’t talk about it.
I can’t talk about it either.