The Last Tiki Bar on Mars — A Dystopian Comic Romp Through The Collapse of the Mars Colony After They Run Out Of Snacks

Fresh off the chat window, source unclear

by Bartender on November 29, 2018

they will type anything into a chat window

I see you’ve truly lost it. Well here’s to your mind, wherever it may be.

They know what you did last thursday

You’re going to need at least three RV’s

and a hang glider

and a whole lot of legal advice

you’re going to need a lot of invisible money

my attorney suggests you spend some time on my invisible paypal account.

to get started, we only need $10,000 in cash. This is going to save you so much money

Death is cheap. Living is much more expensive.

I can see you’ve been briefing your security team.

Pity they are simply house cats.

(or so they would seem)

or are they turbo ninjas who sleep so quietly?

Communications are quiet. Seems the sharks have worked with the birds to hold the local activities down to looking for water and hoping for fresh socks.

as if

Fresh socks are the currency of the Trump World Oder.

Yes, the wide open spaces full of stink. Odor free socks, who knew that would be the most important currency in the Trump world? Yet, who is surprised? This is what his supporters voted for.

Somehow the stink was only supposed to be on the midgets in Atlantic City.

That didn’t last. No matter how many midget socks were handed out.

Well, the sky rats, aka “squirrels” are chittering to your walnut listeners, watching for BAD THOUGHT

squids.

sometimes they have bad thoughts

bad, bad thoughts

you don’t have any squids there, do you son?

you don’t want to meet the sergeant from the Squid Squad

He’s not your friend

he’s no one’s friend

He’s seen the output from your log files.

That’s maybe why he’s got those dead eyes.

Those dead log eyes.

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One Step at a Time

by Bartender on May 14, 2018

Here it is. Long promised, the web site that launched a thousand blog posts. Not much about here, now. However everything’s got to start somewhere.

Stay tuned. Remember, space travel is not possible without Chorizo.

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Lunch with Dr. Benway

by Bartender on May 14, 2018

I’m having lunch again, with Dr Benway. He’s concerned again by both my divorce and my unpaid bill.

“How have you been? How’s the writing going?” He asks with a sideways glance.

“Miserable” I say with a crappy French accent, just for fun.

“Well, you’ve got that going for you. Great art never came out of anyone feeling fucking happy”. He dinged his fork against his water glass and signaled el mesero. He pauses, gives me a brief look of the kind I know all to well these days.

“That means you won’t be settling my bill today.” The uncomfortable truth needed no verbal reply. I shifted in my white linen suit. “There’s the other thing.” I told him.

He put his fork back in his shaved fennel. This was the cue for the waiter to refill our water glasses. “thank you asshole” the doctor says, toasting the waiter with his water glass.

“I’ve done it” I tell him.

The doctor smiles. He seems to pause to rub his crotch. “You have the ear?” He asks.

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