The Entropic Gang Bang Caper, a short piece by Norman Spinrad originally published in the British magazine New Worlds in 1969 and collected under the title The Last Hurrah of the Golden Horde has some entertaining things to say about our year of 2020. If you’re not familiar with the events of that era, let’s just say there was extensive civil unrest and social change.
Not unlike 2020.
This short work of fiction does not have a narrative, plot or characters. It reads more as a series of short news stories bookmarked with semi-psychedelic commentary. What follows is a series of excerpts that I find most pithy and entertaining.
PBA THREATENS STRIKE OVER DEMONSTRATION TACTICS
New York, N.Y. The President of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association threatened to call a general police strike unless all riot police were immediately disarmed. “Armed police have a tough time getting laid at demonstrations,” he explained. “It’s bad for morale.”
SCOTUS RULES ON CONSTITUTIONAL ISSUE
Washington, D.C. The Supreme Court, in a unanimous decision today, declared the Constitution Unconstitutional. “There is no provision whatsoever in the Constitution for the Constitution,” the Court decision pointed out.
UNIVERSITY DEMANDS DEMONSTRATOR CONTROL OF POLICE
Berkeley, Calif. At a news conference called after the latest Berkeley riot, the Chancellor of the University of California demanded tighter demonstrator control of police. “The situation would never have gotten out of hand if the police had been forced to summon demonstrators earlier,” he declared. “It’s time the anarchists stopped coddling the police.”
MUGGER CLEARED OF POLICE BRUTALITY RAP
New York, N.Y. Superior Court Judge Arthur Cranz today dismissed charges of intent to commit police brutality against Herbert Smith, 29. Smith, a member of the International Brotherhood of Muggers, has been accused of police brutality against Patrolman David MacDougal of New York City Vice Squad, when the latter’s nightstick was buggered during a routine mugging in New York’s Central Park. Judge Cranz ruled that since both men were under the influence of capitalist propaganda at the time, intent could not be proven. However, all there paternity suits arising out of the incident are still pending in civil court.
SECRETARY OF TREASURY ABSCONDS
New York, N.Y. The Secretary of the Treasury today announced his formal abscondence with the National Debt at a press conference held in a Wall Street crash-pad. He told reporters that he planned to sell the Debt to the Mafia as a tax-loss, deposit the proceeds in municipal bonds, and accept a Presidential appointment to the Mothers of Invention.
BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER, THAT’S WHY!
Reno, Nevada. At a press conference in Reno today, the President and the Vice President announced that they had been married during the night in a private ceremony conducted by the Chief of Naval Operations.
“I just don’t see what all the fuss is about,” the Vice President said. “We’re just two people in love, that’s all.”
“This time it’s for keeps!” the President assured reporters as the newlyweds left for a two-week honeymoon in Niagra Falls.
If you enjoyed these snippets, shop for Norman Spinrad’s works at Powell’s Books by clicking here.
Thank you for the good words, Mr. Spinrad!
Photo by gruntzooki – https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/301986137/, CC BY-SA 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1869182