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Chapter Eleven – Showdown

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“Give us the pizza.” he repeats in a calm and even voice.

Blocked in on every side, the occupants of the pizza delivery ‘bug stab each other with nervous glances, not sure what to do.

Beth breaks the silence. “Let me handle this.” She breaks out of her safety harness, cracks open the door and strides out to confront this latest barrier.

“We want the pizza. We will have it.”

“Oh, one whole pizza? What if I told you that you could have anything you wanted, delivered?”

“What? No, we want a pizza now.”

“Think about it, take it back to your people and discuss it. There’s one pizza on Mars, just one. You could take that, or you could let us go on and order many more pizzas.”

The person in the opposing pressure suit takes a step back, confused by this twist of events.

“Here,” says Beth, pulling something from the thigh pocket of her pressure suit. “Take this tablet. Pass it around. Make a wish list. We are going to have to make a very large order with Amazon. What do you want? We can get it.”

You can’t tell from outside the helmet, but body language says Pressure Suit Person is … dumbfounded by this twist of affairs. Whoever it is turns away and appears to have a heated conversation over a private channel.

Finally, turning back towards Beth, taking the tablet from her hand. “Fine, fine, fine. We’ll have a list for you, oh no question. Now get going before we change our minds.” Beth leaps back into the ‘bug and they roll away while watching Pressure Suit Person violently kicking rocks and clearly swearing a blue streak to somebody.


As they bump across the red rocks of Mars towards The Temple of the Last Steak…

Heinie: “How about The Dukes of Hazzard – In Space!”

Issac: “You are an idiot.”

Heinie: “And you’re a snob. I’m just trying to figure out how to not be be poor. Look how popular The Muppet Babies are? It’s the Muppets, only stupid. Look, Bo and Luke could power the Space General Lee with a fusion generator, eh?”

Issac: “Tell me how many dollars Cooter will want to fix the magnetic containment unit that will take out Hazzard County if it fails? And how are they going to jump their car over Enos in space, is there a frozen lake he can land in on Titan?”

“Hey, I don’t have all the answers here, just blue-skying it.”

André: “You are both morons. I’m going to go hide in the library when we get back and hope no one notices that I’m spending the night in the stacks. For the Rest of My Life.”

The ‘bug pulls up to the entrance to the Temple. Beth: “Ok, are you ready?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. She and José pop out of the ‘bug with the pizza box. “Here we go.” In a moment they are joined by the other four and in a thrice they are through the airlock.

Three of the robed types are there. They silently stare at the box containing the only pizza on Mars.

Onward to Chapter Twelve