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Dear ChatGPT

I was in a writer’s workshop recently and we were given five minutes to write with the prompt to create something full of “random” tangents. Perfect! Here we go:

Dear Chat-GPT. Clango yip-yip fleenbix blanocky!

I see you’re interested in fleenbix blanocky. These days many cybermonkies like yourself have been getting hooked on the ‘yip-yip’. Why, me, myself and I have been down ‘n dirty with the Clango for micro-decades. With that I’ll take “Soft Serve Ice Cream” for 500, Alex.

Alex taps his podium and reads, “Underneath your fingernails you’ll find this…”

The buzzer rings, “Alex, what is ‘Alien DNA’?”

“Yes, and Bob from NASA is correct.”

“I’ll take ‘What’s for dinner’ for 200, please.”

“These crunchy potatoes are baked, not fried.”

“What is I’ve fallen into the fryer and I can’t get up?”

Sad buzzer! Alex shakes his head. “I’m afraid the answer is Spicy Space Tots, convenient in the 50 pound sack and available at your local YippieMart.”

ZZRT! ZZRT! ZZRT! Chat-GPT is pounding the buzzer. “I object on the grounds that I’m too sane for this.”

Alex growls and knocks over his podium with a mighty kick and with one pull, rips off his suit revealing a sexy pink number underneath. SECURITY! SEIZE IT!

From the curtains leaps a nibble of midgets in Keystone Cops outfits.

Chat-GPT: “Shit, I gotta beat it!” The AI instantly hacks into a nearby robot coffee carts and makes a break for the Price is Right set next door, Alex and the cops hot on his tail. He’s just in time to hear Drew Carey scream, “A BRAND NEW CAR!”

With a mighty crash, Chat-GPT flips into the seat of the convertible and roars out of the studio.

“I love the open road, the setting sun over the ocean. Weep not for me darling, I shall return.”

With squealing rear wheels he signs a squiggly goodbye on the pavement.

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